The "Non-Evaluative Visit" Email

Dear staff,

"We're going to be visiting your classes next week! Don't worry, though, it's "non evaluative" .

We never bothered to give you feedback on your teaching practices from the last time we visited -and that was two weeks ago! Let's be honest, that's because we don't care about your teaching or your teaching practices. We could give a crap less about any of that nonsense. By now you MUST know you are nothing more than mouthy little factory workers to us. Fine you got your little "union" so we can't fire you. But this isn't Brooklyn or Manhattan. This is Queens and we don't appreciate the actual work that you claim you do at all (and just to be clear that weneverwill). 

This is why next week is just a quality control check. Nothing more. We only want to make sure you are doing what we tell you to do. These little SEL check ins seem important, so we'll "look" for them. We also told you to type your learning objectives into every single slide on your GooglePoint. We don't care if it takes away from the real estate on your screen. Do it! We will be looking for it!

Make sure there is evidence that you stressed yourselves out and stayed up the whole night before. This is what we truly live for. If you don't look haggard, we may just give you that "feedback" you spoiled little overgrown children were asking for -and you don't want, do you?

Because don't forget, if last year showed US anything it's that YOU are unbelievably expendable. We had no problem replacing those teachers who got out of Dodge in the middle of the semester, now did we? This is because you are expendable to us. 

So be ready for our quality control check, I mean our "non-evaluative visits" next week. And don't forget, if you don't type your lesson plan out into that Word Template we sent you (the one with the pretty little picture pictures on it), we are going to pretend you didn't have one and we will call your chapter leader and say so.  We like seeing those pictures on your lesson plans. It makes someone else happy. So don't give us any crap or else. 

Thank you